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Danny Mequet, dmequet@churchoftheking.com

Imagine yourself standing before Bill Gates with the opportunity to ask for any amount of money possible in order to achieve your greatest dream. How much money would you ask for? What dream would you hope to accomplish? Would you ever consider passing up this opportunity?

As leaders, we have the opportunity to approach God on a regular basis and ask for whatever we need to help fulfill His dream for our lives (John 14:12-14). However, we often pass up this opportunity because we do not regularly pray for others.

We see in 1 Chronicles 4:10 how a leader, Jabez, asked God to expand his influence.

“And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.”

We should continually ask God to increase our influence.

In order to expand your influence you need to pray for:

1) People you are leading

• When God puts people in your life you must pray for His divine intervention, wisdom and empowerment to lead effectively.

2) People you have invited to be led

• As a leader you should constantly look for new relationships in which God can use you to influence others. In order for these relationships to develop you must trust that God is building and growing them.

3) People you don’t know, but who will lead

• When you pray, God gets involved in connecting you with people whom He wants you to help develop. This is a big step of faith because you will be praying for people that you do not know yet.  You are trusting God to expand your influence with them.

Prayer is the most powerful tool a leader has. If you are looking to continue to grow in influence then you must dedicate yourself to praying on a regular basis.

Points to ponder…

• What can you do to become consistent in praying for those you are currently leading?
• How has this article challenged you as a leader?
• How will you approach leadership differently after reading this article?

Danny Mequet (Dmequet@churchoftheking.com)

My son’s 6 year-old soccer team taught me a great leadership lesson a couple of weeks ago. I was poised for an intense practice with a strict schedule of drills that would undoubtedly increase their skills and launch them into greatness…or so I thought. Unfortunately when I showed up the group of 6 year-olds were much more interested in wrestling, chasing the mosquitoes and taking water breaks. It was then that I remembered John Maxwell’s famous quote, “He that thinketh he leadeth and hath no one following him is only taking a walk.”

I quickly realized even though I had the title of “coach” and I had a whistle I was definitely not the leader. I also realized that it was not the kids’ fault that they weren’t following my lead because I had done a great job of losing my influence with these kids.

So, from this sixty minutes of self-induced frustration I learned 3 Ways to Lose Your Influence:

1) Do things your way
Without considering those you are aiming to influence you will only see things your way, which will lead to decreased influence.

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” John Maxwell

2) Do what you think is important
When you are only focused on what you think is important you will overlook what matters to those you are leading.

Empower those you are leading by listening to them and validating them with your response.

3) Do what you want to do
A leader who is focused solely on their own desires and doing things their way will lose influence.

As leaders, our goal should be to increase our influence by serving like Jesus served.

“Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” (Mark 9:35).

Think about it…
• Do your decisions and actions increase or decrease your influence with others?
• What are you doing that is decreasing your influence with certain people?
• What can you begin to do to serve those you are leading?

Rick Howerton — http://blogs.navpress.com/rickhowerton

When a small group leader looks into the eyes of their group members, they are looking into the eyes of a group of people they have a responsibility to move forward in their journey to spiritual maturity. But, before that can happen, the leader must conclude precisely where the group member is on that journey.
There are four questions that need to be answered concerning each group member. The answers to these questions will determine how the group leader relates to and sometimes converses with each group member.

1. Is he or she a follower of Christ?
If a small group leader realizes that a group member has not yet crossed the line of faith and become a Christ-follower, the leader needs to 1) make the most of every opportunity the Holy Spirit creates to voice the gospel to that group member, 2) watch the group member closely during group meetings and capture a transformational moment when it occurs, 3) carefully answer any question the group member has and bathe that answer in the person and story of Jesus. 4) Integrate the Gospel into every group conversation when it is possible and appropriate.

2. Is there a past experience the Enemy, Satan, is using to hold the group member captive? Some group members are Christ-followers but the Enemy is using a past experience or past experiences to keep the group member from realizing the joy and peace that Jesus promised. Past experiences might include ongoing verbal, physical, or sexual abuse by a family member or someone else, a group of high school friends defriending the group member, a church spiritually abusing, etc… Satan uses such experiences to demean the person and destroy the new heart one receives when adopted by God. Realizing whether or not a group member is in this situation will explain their attitudes and reactions to many conversations and will make it possible for the group leader to point them toward the help they need that can aid them in their movement toward freedom.

3. Is he or she proactively on a journey toward Christ-likeness?
Many believers received Christ and are active in church but are not proactively striving to become Christ-like. When a group leader is aware of spiritual apathy that group leader then begins to do whatever is necessary to motivate the group member to be involved in spiritual disciplines, spend time conversing about the things of God, and slowly move the person toward a walk with Christ that is real and passionate and transformational.

4. What can I do to help the group member take the next step? Once a group leader is aware of the answer to the three questions you just read, the group leader must ask herself/himself how they can help the group member to commit to taking whatever the next step is for them. Helping group members commit to next steps is the first step toward transformation that is real and eternal.

Danny Mequet (dmequet@churchoftheking.com)

I absolutely love being a parent! It is so exciting to be given the opportunity to help shape the lives of my kids. A couple of years ago, my oldest son, Caleb, took on the responsibility of putting a new garbage bag in our kitchen garbage can after I take the old bag out. This has been a great learning experience for him and he is usually very willing to serve. However, there are times when he tries to get me to do something for him, or give him something before he is willing to put the new garbage bag in the can. These moments give me the opportunity to explain to him that we should be willing to serve with no strings attached.

As leaders, we must be willing to serve others with no expectations of anything in return. Just like Caleb needs to replace the garbage bag without receiving anything in return for his actions, we must be willing to serve those we are leading without selfish motives.

Jesus is the perfect example a true Servant Leader as seen in Mark 10:43, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Keys to Leading as a Servant
1) Love God
• We are commanded in Matthew 22:37-39 to love God with everything that we are and as a result we should also love others. Therefore, if our love for God grows, then our love for others will also grow. If our love for others grows then we will serve others because of our love for them which is born out of our love for God.

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8

2) Pray for those you lead
• When you pray for those you lead, you will grow in your desire to serve them and to help lead them to fulfill their God-given potential.
• Prayer gets God involved in your relationships, which will increase your ability to lead.

3) Serve their dream
• What role are you playing in helping others find and fulfill their God-given purpose?
• Are you serving others in order to get them to follow you, or are you serving them out of a passion to see them fulfill God’s dream for their life?

“Jesus’ master principle: True greatness, true leadership, is found in giving yourself in service to others, not in coaxing or inducing others to serve you.” (J. Oswald Sanders Spiritual Leadership)

Think about it…
• What can you do in order to grow in your love for those you are leading?
• How can you discover the dreams of those you are leading in so that you can serve their dream?
• How can you be more intentional in praying for those you lead?

Prayer point…
Ask God to give you a heart for others so that you will pray for them, serve them and lead them.

Danny Mequet, dmequet@churchoftheking.com

If you are like me, I often fall into the trap of being impressed with people who boast of their lengthy workweeks. While I believe working hard is a God-given privilege and responsibility, I’m also learning that busyness can distract us from fulfilling our purpose in life.

As a husband, proud father of four young kids, a “wanna-be” qualifier for the Boston Marathon and a pastor on staff at a growing church I often find myself consumed by the busyness of life. I used to think this meant I was successful, but I’m learning that my busyness may actually mean I’m slipping away from what God would define as success. I’m also learning that I can fulfill the roles God has given me and have margin to be able to serve others.

When Jesus was asked what should be our greatest priorities he said, “’You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)

In order to be able to “love our neighbors as ourselves” we must live our lives with margin (time, energy, financially, relationally, etc.) so we can practically show God’s love by serving. Think about the times when you were not able to help someone because you didn’t have enough…
• Time
• Energy
• Money
• Focus

God wants us to live our lives with margin so that we can fulfill his Great Commission of making disciples by following his greatest commandment to love God and love others.

In order to create the margin that we need to serve others we should ask ourselves the following questions:
1) What things should I stop doing in order to have more time to serve others?
2) What do I need to begin to do in order serve?
3) What can I practically do to make serving a part of my daily life?
4) What can I do to lead others into living a lifestyle of serving?

Anna Joy Mequet, born March 6, 2012

9 lbs 1 oz

21 inches

Article originally posted November 2011

Danny Mequet – dmequet@churhcoftheking.com

One of the most challenging concepts to grasp as a leader is the idea of being a “servant leader.” Jesus helps us understand how to lead as a servant when He said, “And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.” (Matthew 5:41)

In the culture in which Jesus was speaking, carrying a Roman soldier’s belongings the first mile was considered a legal obligation. Therefore, when Jesus says to go two miles it proves that the second mile is a willful act of service.

In order to lead as a servant we must strive to become a Second Mile Leader.

3 Keys to becoming a Second Mile Leader:

1) See the value in others
“The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

We need to ask God to help us see people the way He sees them. When we see people the way God sees them, we will be willing to lead them as a true servant-leader.

2) See the opportunity to serve
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24

When we serve others we are really serving Christ. Therefore, we should embrace each opportunity to serve others.

3) See the potential for life change
“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:12

Serving changes lives because it is how we show God’s love to others.

Think about it…
• What can I do to become a Second Mile Leader?
• How can I better serve those I am leading?

Adapted from an article by Ben Reed – www.benreed.net

I often ask small group leaders, “Who is your Emerging Leader? What potential leaders do you have in your group?”

Sometimes I hear, “Nobody in my group is anywhere near ready to lead other people.”

I guarantee you, though, if I were to meet the people in their group, I could pick out one or more Emerging Leaders.

The challenge with identifying Emerging Leaders is seeing the potential in people. The word “potential” is a tough word to grasp. We often jump right over it. Instead of “potential,” we hear “proven.” Or “ready.” Or “perfect.”

“Potential” is different. Think back to your days in science class, where you learned about the difference between potential energy and kinetic energy. Kinetic energy is the energy of motion. It’s the energy of work. The more work you do, the more kinetic energy you produce. The faster you move, the more kinetic energy you build up.

Potential energy is energy that’s stored up, waiting for an external force to begin motion. Waiting for a nudge, a kick, or a “suggestion.” It’s hard to “see” potential energy. A roller coaster, at the top of a hill, has potential energy. A ball, just before it’s dropped, has lots of potential energy. A spring, when fully outstretched, has lots of potential energy.

When I’m sitting with a leader, asking what other “potential” leaders are present in their group, they are looking for “kinetic energy” leaders. They’re looking for someone who’s already leading. They want to suggest someone whose kinetic energy is building, not someone who has potential energy stored up.

Seeing potential is tough, because you can’t look at who, or what, is in front of you. You’re looking at what’s in front of someone else. Often, what’s in front of them is something that they haven’t seen themselves. Potential energy isn’t moving mountains and creating waves. Potential energy may be sitting calmly, not realizing the kinetic energy right in front of them.

That is exactly why they need a nudge from you.

Here are 6 easy ways to nudge an Emerging Leader:

1. Tell them that you believe in them. Encouragement goes a long way in nudging a potential leader.

2. Tell them the potential you see in them. Help paint a picture for them of what could be if they were to lead.

3. Give them a chance to lead, and set things up for an easy win. They could open up your small group with the “warm-up” question, close in prayer, or help you make some phone calls during the week to the small group members.

4. Ask for feedback on your own leadership. Ask them how they think you could improve.

5. Read a book on leadership together. Meet together and discuss what you are learning.

6. Give them authority over an area of your small group, or over a special project. Trust them to make decisions and lead well, and follow up to ensure they feel supported and are growing.

Think about it…

• Why is it hard for you to see the potential in people?
• What can you do to begin to see the potential that God has placed in people you are leading?
• Who are you going to begin to invest in as an Emerging Leader?

Danny Mequet (Dmequet@churchoftheking.com)

When I was growing up I heard a preacher say, “Don’t ever say you don’t want God to send you to be a missionary to Africa because that’s exactly where He’ll send you!” When I heard this my initial thought was, “Is God mad at me? Does He really want to send me somewhere I don’t want to go?” As I look back at what this preacher said, I understand that he was simply trying to make a point (although he didn’t do a very good job). He was trying to emphasize that God really wants us to be willing to follow Him and do whatever He asks us to do. This principle is clearly seen in Genesis 22:16-17

“I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore.”

God makes this statement after Abraham was only seconds from sacrificing his only son, Isaac, on an altar. God never intended for Abraham to kill Isaac, but God did intend to test Abraham’s heart. Was Abraham truly surrendered to God, or was he still holding on to certain things in his life? It was only once Abraham proved that he was truly surrendered to God that he received God’s promise of greatness.

As leaders we must be willing to surrender everything in order to receive the greatness God has in store for us.

3 Steps to living a surrendered life:

1) Hear the voice of God

“Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” Genesis 22:2

We must take the time and give the effort to develop a relationship with God, which allows us to clearly hear God’s voice.

2) Trust the voice of God

Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” Genesis 22:9

We must trust that what God says is what we are supposed to do. Abraham did not understand why God would call him to sacrifice his son, but he trusted that God would provide through the circumstances. Abraham trusted God more than he trusted in his own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).

3) Obey the voice of God

“Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.” Genesis 22:9-10

As leaders, we must not only hear and trust God’s voice, but we must obey God. It was not Abraham’s willingness to obey God 99% of the way that showed his surrendered heart to God. It was his willingness to obey 100% that proved his heart was surrendered to God.

Abraham teaches us a great lesson in how we should hold on to the relationships that God has entrusted us to steward. If we hold on to them then God will not be able to trust us with increasing our influence. However, just like Abraham, if we willingly surrender the relationships in our lives then He will be able to trust us with greatness.

Points to ponder…

• What relationships am I unwilling to totally surrender to God? Why?
• Do I hear God’s voice, trust his voice and obey his voice? Of these three areas, which one do I need to grow in the most?
• Why will God increase my influence if I live a totally surrendered life?

Prayer point…

Ask God to help you live a totally surrendered life in order for you to become great in building His Kingdom.

Just about anyone would agree that growing is a good thing, but relatively few people actually dedicate themselves to the process. Why? Because growth requires change, and change is hard for most people. But the truth is that without change, growth is impossible.

Most people fight against change, especially when it affects them personally. As novelist Leo Tolstoy said, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” The ironic thing is that change is inevitable. Everybody has to deal with it in their lives. On the other hand, growth is optional. You can choose to grow or fight it. But know this: people unwilling to grow will never reach their potential. (Your Road Map for Success by John Maxwell)

The role of a leader is to inspire and challenge those he or she is leading to grow. In order to first inspire those we are leading, we must first grow. In Matthew 4:19, we see three areas in which we must grow before we can Promote Growth in the lives of those we are leading.

And he [Jesus] said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19 (ESV)

Three Areas Leaders Must Grow:

1) Relationship with Christ

“Follow me…” – Before we can lead others we must first be willing to follow Jesus.

2) Passion for people

“I will make you fishers of men” – As leaders, our number one desire must be for the good and growth of others (Matthew 22:36-39).

3) Influence

A passion for people without the ability to lead them into a growing relationship with Jesus leaves you short of Jesus’ purpose of “making disciples.”

Think about it…

• How are you Promoting Growth in your own life?
• Who do you need in your life to help Promote Growth for you? What are you doing to pursue that relationship?
• How will your growth translate into growth for those you are leading?