Controlling The Flow

• What are 3 things you can begin to do to make your mind new everyday (Romans 12:2)?  How will your mind being made new impact others?
• “Our responsibility is to lead others…set the table for them to know God and fulfill their purpose in life.”  How does this apply to your life as a leader?

Growing in Christ: The foundation for developing as a leader

By Danny Mequet (dmequet@churchoftheking.com)

A few days ago I was asked by a good friend of mine what my growth strategy is as a leader. While there are several different things that I intentionally do to continue to develop myself, there is no doubt in my mind that it is my relationship with Christ that is my source. As I look back over my life, I credit my dad and one of my former youth pastors, Shane Harris, for helping me understand the importance of developing my personal relationship with Christ. Throughout my junior high and high school years I remember my dad would be sitting on the couch in our living room reading his Bible and praying every morning when I got up for school at 6 am. It was through his constant example that spoke so loudly to me of the importance of developing the habit of connecting with God everyday. Shane was a great youth pastor of mine when I was a skinny 14 year old kid trying to figure out life. Shane was an intense guy who was a former college linebacker, so needless to say he had my respect if for no other reason he was twice my size! I remember that every time I saw him he would ask me if I’d been praying and reading my Bible. In order to be able to truthfully tell him, “Yes” I would make sure I spent time with God on a regular basis. Whether or not I did this with the right motive doesn’t matter. What matters is that as I continued to connect with God I began to grow in my relationship with Him.

It is a personal relationship with God that will allow you to grow in godly character (Romans 5:3-4), your God-given purpose (Romans 12:2) and passion for others (Matthew 22:39). It is these three areas that are critical to develop as a godly leader, and it is only through a growing relationship with Jesus Christ that these qualities will be found.

By pursuing growth in your relationship with Christ you will continue to build the foundation upon which God will be able to trust you with more leadership opportunities.
Questions for reflection:
• What are you currently doing to improve yourself as a godly leader?
• What are you currently doing to grow in your relationship with Jesus Christ?
• How have you seen your influence with others grow as your relationship with Jesus has grown?

Becoming a great leader — Having the heart of a servant

by Danny Mequet

When my wife Missy and I first got married I remember having an argument over how I cleaned the dishes. I was much more upset over the fact that I didn’t get appreciated for my act of service than I was about her disagreeing with how I did the dishes. As I look back, I realize the reason I was so upset about not getting appreciated was because I served with the wrong motives. I wanted her to notice and thank me for my actions, which showed my motivation for serving was self-centered.

As leaders, it is natural to want to accomplish great things, but as we attempt to make a difference in this world we must make sure we have the right heart – the heart of a servant. Jesus does a great job of addressing this issue in Mark 10:43 when he said, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.”

This verse is powerful because it speaks to the heart of who we are, not to what we do. Many people look at the person who sweeps floors, serves in the nursery or directs traffic in a busy church parking lot as a servant; and there is not doubt that they are. However, many people’s definition of a servant is limited.

Do you think the owner of a multi-billion dollar business would be considered a servant by most people? How about a small group leader at a church who is intent on seeing people fulfill their God-given purpose? Truett Cathy, owner and founder of Chic-fil-a is both the owner of a multi-billion dollar business as well as a faithful leader in his church. He may not appear as somebody we see as a typical servant. I’m sure there were days when he swept floors or took out the trash, but it is his heart that makes him a servant. Truett Cathy is not dedicated to making good chicken sandwiches, he is dedicated to building people. It is his tireless efforts that make this extremely successful man also a great servant.

As you think about your motivation to be a leader ask yourself the following questions:
• Do I want to lead in order to gain recognition or because I want to see others fulfill their God-given purpose?
• When I don’t get the recognition that I desire from serving how do I feel? What thoughts go through my head? How do I react?

Becoming a great leader (person of influence) is not about the act of serving…it’s about having the heart of a servant.

What does it mean to “lead myself?”

Danny Mequet

As leaders, we often hear “you must lead yourself before you can lead others.” This is a true statement, but learning how to practically live this out can be challenging. In order to help bring clarity to this sometimes ambiguous statement we are going to look at three different areas in which we must grow in order to effectively lead others.

1) Character
As leaders, we must understand that who we are is more important that what we accomplish. Our talents and charisma can carry us to certain levels of successful leadership, but real influential leaders are defined by the core of who they are.

“Guard you heart, for out of it comes the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

Character is the “heart” of who we are. If our heart is not aligned with who God has called us to be then we will not be able to successfully lead others.

2) Purpose
Our purpose has more to do with what God has called us to do and can only be addressed when our character lines up with who God has called us to be. As you lead yourself you must begin to make strides towards accomplishing what God has uniquely called you to do.
In order to fulfill your purpose you must:
1) Find your purpose
2) Set goals to reach your purpose
3) Work towards your purpose

“Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained” Proverbs 29:18

Find God’s purpose for your life, set the necessary goals and work towards it so that you can lead others to fulfill their purpose.

3) Relationships
Once we work on developing our character and purpose we can begin to develop the relationships that will allow our influence to increase. As leaders, we must understand that “leaders must accomplish things through, with and for people, and that can happen only with the ability to build relationships.” (Launching a Leadership Revolution; Brady & Woodward).
As leaders, the most valuable resource we have is our influence, and that influence is only gained when we understand the importance of valuing people. God gives us the greatest example of value when He told us in 1 John 4:19, “We love, because He first loved us.” If you put others first then you will be given influence.

God has called us to be people of influence and the only way we can become what God has called us to become is to lead ourselves. Now that you have seen 3 areas you must lead yourself in you can begin the journey of building your influence so that you can build God’s Kingdom.

Questions for reflection
• Why do you think it is important to lead yourself before you can lead others?
• Of the 3 areas we must lead ourselves in, what is the most challenging one for you? Why?
• What will you do to begin to lead yourself better in your character, purpose and relationships?

*Several of the ideas in this article were adapted from Launching a Leadership Revolution by Brady and Woodward.

The Strength of Serving

Many times in life we face challenging circumstances that seem as if they will “take us out.” When facing these types of challenges we can respond one of two ways. We can give up out of fear, or we can hold to God’s promises (Romans 8:37, Psalm 23:4, Romans 8:28) and trust that God will work all things for His good. Through the incredible challenges that we may face in life, it is the attitude of a servant that will allow us to not only be overcomers, but to lead others into an overcoming life.
(This article is from GIANT Impact http://www.giantimpact.com/iphone/article_read/be_the_one_serve/ and it helps us understand the importance of having an attitude of service as we lead through challenging times.)
In life, it’s not what happens to you, but what happens in you and through you that counts. When adversity visits your life, you have two choices: to be a victim or to be a victor. Victims allow life circumstances to get them down, and they spend their lives asking others to redress the grievances life has dealt them. Victims are needy and demand to be served. Victors, on the other hand, rise above the challenges they encounter. They rebound from life’s hardships with newfound strength, and they use their strength in service of those around them.
Juliette Magill Kinzie Gordon was born in 1860 to a wealthy family in Savannah, Georgia. Far from the typical Southern belle, Juliette was willful and tomboyish, always in search of adventure. She was the type of person never to be caught sitting still; she enjoyed trying new things and traveling new places.
In her mid-twenties, the first of a series of misfortunes struck Juliette. Suffering from chronic earaches, she sought medical care, but doctors mistreated her. As a consequence, Juliette lost the majority of her hearing in one ear. The following year, Juliette was married, but as she and the groom exited the ceremony a grain of rice, tossed by a well-wisher, lodged in her good ear. While attempting to remove the grain, a doctor punctured her eardrum, and Juliette lost hearing in her second ear.
For someone who enjoyed an active lifestyle, deafness could have been devastating, but Juliette persevered. She moved to her husband’s estate in England where she became a favorite in social circles. Her humor and vivacity made her a sought-after guest and celebrated hostess.
However, Juliette soon crossed paths with tragedy again. Her husband’s alcohol abuse and infidelity contributed to the gradual decline of their relationship, and in the middle of divorce proceedings, Juliette’s husband died from a stroke. To make matters worse, he bequeathed his substantial estate to his mistress rather than giving it to Juliette.
Choosing to Get Up Rather Than Give Up
Having lost her hearing, her husband, and her home, you would have expected Juliette to feel bitter and victimized. However, at this very point in her life, she chose to serve. Somehow, she moved past her own tragic circumstances to see the good she could do for others.
Having befriended Sir Robin Baden-Powell, founder of the Boy Scouts, Juliette became intrigued by the Girl Guides, Britain’s sister organization to the Boy Scouts. The Girl Guides program awakened passion in Juliette, reminding her of youthful adventures from days gone by. With the help of Sir Baden-Powell, Juliette returned to the United States with a notion to launch the Girl Scouts.
Over the next 15 years, Juliette devoted her life to pioneering the Girl Scouts of the USA. She founded its inaugural troop, authored its bylaws and handbooks, and solicited its startup funds. Thanks to her tireless recruiting and relentless campaigning, the Girl Scouts program blossomed. The organization was such a source of joy for Juliette that, when diagnosed with cancer, she hid the illness as long as possible in order to continue advancing the scouting movement. While she never had children of her own, by the time of her death Juliette had an “adopted family” of more than 160,000 girl scouts. Her legacy lives on today in the 3.4 million young ladies who belong to local Girl Scout troops in America.
Questions for Reflection
Where do you focus the majority of your time, on self or on service? When the hardships of life show up at your door, do you back down or rise to the challenge? On your journey through life, will you allow yourself to be victimized, or will you be the one who claims victory over adversity and serves others out of your strength?