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Danny Mequet

Have you ever had one of those moments when you realized that your kids have turned the tables and taught you a huge life lesson? One Sunday afternoon, my three year old son Caleb taught me an incredible leadership lesson during what was supposed to be his nap time.

As a father, I understand the incredible value of a Sunday afternoon nap. However, as a three-year-old boy, Caleb did not see eye to eye with me on the importance of taking a nap. I allowed this slight difference in opinion to quickly escalate into what appeared to be World War III. After nearly two hours of screaming and crying (me and Caleb!) my wife intervened with a very timely question. She asked, “Why don’t you go see what’s wrong with Caleb instead of simply trying to make him do what you want him to do?”

After pondering this incredibly convicting question from my wife, I walked into Caleb’s room, climbed into his bed with him, wrapped my arms around him, told him I loved him and asked him what was wrong. In between sniffles brought on by the two hours of crying he said, “Daddy, I want you.” After hearing that simple but profound statement, I laid my head next to his and within three minutes he was peacefully asleep.

I learned a powerful leadership principle that afternoon about the hearts of those that I have the privilege to lead. I learned it’s more important to lead people’s hearts than to focus on correcting their behavior.

If you find yourself frustrated because you aren’t seeing life-change take place within the people you are leading, you may want to inventory your own heart and ask yourself, “Am I leading their hearts or simply attempting to correct their behavior?” In order to begin to lead someone’s heart, it’s important to understand that our behaviors are a result of our hearts (Proverbs 4:23, James 1:13-15, Mark, 7:21-23, Luke 6:45). If we simply try to correct behaviors, then we are only treating the symptoms instead of treating the core issue.

I know when I have a fever and I go to the doctor, I don’t expect the doctor to treat my fever. Instead, I expect him to treat the infection which is causing the fever! In the same way, as we lead others’ hearts, we must learn to deal with the core issue instead of simply treating the symptoms.

Through prayer and dependence on the Holy Spirit you will be able to lead people’s hearts, which will lead to godly behavior qualities (Galatians 5:22-23). This will take more time and energy, but will result in long-lasting results. Always remember to focus on leading hearts instead of correcting behavior.